Sports' Most Shameful Secret

It's juicing.

Juicing in checkers.

And, finally, somebody's talking about it.

That would be me, and I do it right here on page 2.

Tonight's Reading Material

The Flu Done Shooed

My second bout with the flu (or something that seems very flu-y) has come and gone, so I can peek out long enough to update a couple of things. 

First, my column this week in the Ashland Beacon answers reader questions. As always, it's on page 2.

And, tonight, I'll once again venture into that Internet radio den of despair known as The Funky Werepig, joined this time by my Pod of Horror co-host, the Goddess of Horror World, Nanci Kalanta. You can listen live tonight at 9:00 PM eastern. I'm told there's a chat room, too.

Death of the Death Star

The recent news item about the US rejecting an online petition asking for the government to construct a Death Star caught the attention of a lot of people. I found this on the Tumblr feed of Future Journalism Project:

The White House responds to the Death Star Petition
In response to a petition at We the People, Paul Shawcross, Chief of the Science and Space Branch at the White House Office of Management and Budget, writes:

Even though the United States doesn’t have anything that can do the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs, we’ve got two spacecraft leaving the Solar System and we’re building a probe that will fly to the exterior layers of the Sun. We are discovering hundreds of new planets in other star systems and building a much more powerful successor to the Hubble Space Telescope that will see back to the early days of the universe.

Besides, he adds, “The Administration does not support blowing up planets.”

Well played. Very well played.

The Artless Art of Whining

I read a lot of blogs, primarily those of writers. I probably read too many of them. But discovering the struggles of other writers makes me feel better when my own writing isn’t going well. Misery loves etc., etc.

I used to read the blog of a writer who had some prominence in my youth. He hasn’t done much in a long, long time and he spews a lot of anger toward publishers. He expresses it on a regular basis, then every couple of weeks he tells his readers how lucky he is because he has a great family, and the evil publishers and Internet trolls who are trying to destroy him can never touch that.

It’s a great sentiment, except that it’s delivered in the tone of a man trying to convince himself, as if he’s chanting a mantra to ward off monsters under his bed.

It makes me a little sad for him, and I’ve decided not to check in on his page as often as I had. I'm sure the gentleman in question is working through some important and long-festering issues, and I wish him all the best with that.

I bring this up to ask a favor: if I ever get mopey and self-pitying here (and face it, we all have our moments) and I go on too long about it, you have my permission to smack me in the head.

Now, since this was a decidedly unfunny subject, here’s a local news reporter who tries to say “asphalt” and says “asshole” instead:

On-Air Justice

 

Photo by Kevin Goldy/The Daily Independent

My wife is now doing the afternoon show at my radio station. It's great to be able to listen to her again on a daily basis (she's hasn't had a regular show since the late 80s, though she's on the air with me for a segment every morning). 

One of our local newspapers did a story on her return to the airwaves, and you can read it here.

Nothing Butt The Truth

My column in this week's Freakin' Ashland Beacon is all about the true, totally non-embellished story of my butt surgery from some years ago. Yes, I once again unselfishly make an ass of myself for you, my readers. Read all about it on page 2 by clicking here.

A New Beginning

 My first column of the year for The Freakin' Ashland Beacon, and my first under my exciting new week-to-week contract, is up now. You can read it here. It's on page 2.

Why There Wasn’t a Pod Of Horror In December

Because I have trouble saying no and I suck at time management.

That’s the simple – and basically true – answer. The more complicated one is that I have a job. It pays the bills and the mortgage and provides much-needed health insurance. And I like my job, unlike many people I know. It takes a lot of hours and it involves a certain amount of creativity and brain work. Some days when I finish, there’s hardly any gas left in the tank for other things, like writing.

I write a weekly newspaper column and a monthly web column (which I’m late with) and another quarterly column.

I also have published a few books and those require a bit of behind the scenes details which would be boring to the non-writers out there.

Also, like everyone else, I have to deal with the mostly mundane details of everyday life.

And I want to write more. I have dozens of ideas for novels and stories. These ideas tug at me and sometimes wake me in the middle of the night, demanding to be written down. The real agony (and, believe me, there is true pain involved here) comes from not having nearly enough time to do it all.

They say you make time for the things that are important to you. So here’s my priority list:

1)    My family.

2)    Staying employed.

3)    Writing.

4)    Pod of Horror.

I love PoH. I will continue to do PoH. I will try to have a new episode by the end of this month. But a more realistic target may be February because I’m on deadline to turn in a new book on January 31st. 

What Was I Going To Say? Oh, Yeah...