Sunday, November 13, 2005

Mitch Albom's Giant Ears

As I type this, I'm watching The Sports Reporters on ESPN.

I think Mitch Albom is a fine sports writer, okay novelist and pretty good interviewer.

But those massive friggin' Ferengi ears are freaking me out. Can you get Lobe Reduction surgery?

(Yeah, I know. I'm no GQ cover boy, either. It just weirds me out. Kinda like Giada De Laurentiis's oversized head.)

Sorry. I've held that in for too many years. Please continue with what you were doing.

37 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think they are artificial, covering some kind of congenital defect, maybe?

Mitch's Left Ear said...

I just googled "Mitch Albom ears" and found your post...because yea...his ears are fuckin HUGE. I'm his left ear. He tries to cover us up with his hair...As he ages they will only get bigger...Luckily, for Mitch's sake ear size is a predictor for genital size.

JM said...

I too was so outraged by his ears that I was compelled to google them. They look like some kind of grotesque frittatta.

Cliff said...

me too, if you are ever inebriated, high or on any level other than sober.... you will throw up looking at those elephantitis ears...jesus they look fake like plastic or something

Pril in the Bronx said...

The ears are insane. We need some real data as to what the hell is going on. That toupee is clearly designed to cover up those monsters.

Live long and prosper said...

Add me to the list of people that Googled his ears. Wow.

Brian said...

I, too, googled his ears. I think Mitch has fine points and I enjoy listening to him on the Sports Reporters, but they are so friggin distracting. Sports Reporters might be better as a radio show.

Nathan said...

Add me to the esteemed list of those who have Googled Mitch Albom's ears. It's comforting to know I'm not alone.

Colleen said...

I watched him on the Colbert Report last night and I could not believe those ears. I too, googled Mitch Albom Ears. I asked my husband about them but he knew nothing, had never noticed them, which is weird because he's met him a couple of times. It bodes well for me though, because if he didn't notice those ears maybe he won't notice me aging.

Tami said...

I too goggled his ears after seeing him on the Colbert Report.

I have never seen cauliflower ear before, but could that be what he has.

He is a great writer!

johnny said...

Do his ears get this smae attention every Sunday? Thats the only time you see them. Have you also noticed his left eyebrow and the forehead wrinkles on just that side?

Anonymous said...

I had to quit watching the show because of those beastly ears. I have never seen such a savage external organ. I need to talk more about this so I can learn to live on.

Hondude said...

I Googled 'Mitch ears' and found this site. After hauling those monsters around all his life, I'm surprised Mr. Albom is well adjusted enough to have a high profile job and isn't working at some obscure company hiding in the IT department.

Anonymous said...

Oh, the humanity! Mitch Albom is more alarming than the Yak Woman at the circus.

Anonymous said...

Damn, those are some ears.

Anonymous said...

so whats the deal with those ears? I googled them also. I want to knwo what the hell is going on with them. The hair covering them is weird. He should let those plastic looking ears free!

Anonymous said...

I just finished arguing with my husband over the fact that those ears look fake. My husband told me I was crazy & if I was so concerned that I should call him and ask. So, I picked up the laptop to google those ears & was pleasantly surprised to find that I was not the only one crazed by this....

Anonymous said...

could be time for a pinnaplasty. Having alot of trouble following the sports topic while being Distracted by those things on the side of his head.

F-locks said...

Add me to the list of people that Googled his ears.

Lauren said...

I have been getting nauseated every sunday morning over his ears for the last three years. My boyfriend wishes to give him a buzz cut while I snap a quick photo so we can see what those massive beasts look like in the flesh. Glad I am not alone....his ears freak me out!!

Lauren said...

I have been getting nauseated every sunday morning over his ears for the last three years. My boyfriend wishes to give him a buzz cut while I snap a quick photo so we can see what those massive beasts look like in the flesh. Glad I am not alone....his ears freak me out!!

Steve O said...

you guys are all just jealous because he can save so much money on airfare. Of course, he needs a helipad at his house to land, but it pays for itself in gas savings!!!

Anonymous said...

I had to know was I the only one in the world pre occupied with the meat frisbees attached to Mitch's head where his ears should be. . . . Now I know

Anonymous said...

They certainly are freaky, but if they are, as some have suggested, artificial, WHO WOULD WANT TO GET ARTIFICIAL EARS THAT LOOK LIKE THAT???

Anonymous said...

Never mind the ears. What's with that hair? It looks like some freaky oversized brain from another planet. Is that a toupe?

Anonymous said...

those are actually satellite dishes surgically installed on the sides of his head. it allows him to steam games right to his brain.

Anonymous said...

It's no so much the size of those large audible gathering devices, yet rather the odd shape of the ears themselves. The insides look like something the Mars Landrover would have issues with traversing over.

T said...

MY NAME IS JOHN... AND I TOO, AM AN EAR GOOGLER LOL!! Those meat frisbees are HUGE!

nonsensicallycentral.com said...

Sadly, I too am, "Here for Ears" what the hell?

Anonymous said...

I'm also an ear Googler.

Anonymous said...

We also just googled Mitch Albom's ears. We are watching him right now and my boyfriend was actually tripping out because of them. Whenever he's talking and the other reporters are looking at him, it looks like they're trying to hard not to stare at them. It's sad!

Anonymous said...

Finally, a place where I won't be chastised for my weird obsession with Mitch Albom's ears. It's not only the size and the shape that gets me, it's also the angle, like they're picking up signals from deep space or something. And seriously, that haircut game is doing him no favours. I bet he uses them to collect rainwater in the summertime…

Anonymous said...

His ears are sitting so low, he looks like Mr.Crocker on the Fairly OddParents

Anonymous said...

*sigh* at first I felt GUILTY for googling Mitch's ears, but now I know I am not alone. What I'm really looking for is either a straight on picture of said ears OR a reason why they are the way they are. I wonder if there is a facebook group called Mitch Albom's Ears runs to check facebook

Aaron Y. said...

Just grow your hair all the way out Mitch, and cover those things entirely. While you're at it, comb some in front of your face.

Anonymous said...

I just googled his ears and found this. Thank god I'm not the only one who has been amazed by his ears. I don't think they are real. Their odd looking and he must know this because he is unsuccessfully trying to cover them up with his hair. I barely hear anything he says cause I'm so amazed by his ears wondering if there real or fake.

Anonymous said...

I just saw him on Katie and had no idea who he was until I became a Mitch Albom Ear googler (MAEG) I was hoping Katie would ask the question, "ok Mitch, whats the deal with those ears?!"