Naughty Teachers

That's the title of my humor column this week in the Ashland Beacon. You can read it free right here.

By the way, that's not me in the photo above, in case you were wondering.

Dean Koontz and Odd Thomas

The LA Times has a brief interview with Dean Koontz on the eve of the release of the new Odd Thomas book. I enjoy the series, and I'm looking forward the latest installment.

Trailer for Cloud Atlas

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How Prometheus Should Have Ended

I loved Promthethus--and I still thought this was hilarious.

Iron Mark

This week's column in the freakin' Ashland Beacon is called "Armored Columnist". You can read it here on page 2.

The Man of Steel

Here's the teaser trailer for the Superman flick coming next year. Nice shot at the end.

Booya! Journalist Smacks Down Conservative Blogger.

This is easily my favorite story of the month.

Sen. Sherrod Brown's Wife Makes Conservative Blogger Look Silly

You're Not The Boson Of Me

My column this week in the Freakin' Ashland Beacon mashes up the Higgs Boson with our favorite gentleman's club, The Possum Ranch.

As always, you can find it on page 2.

What Really Happens in the Batcave

This:



And sometimes this:

Today's Writing

Work continues on the new novel. Today, again, was revising and editing, then I was able to start writing fresh material.

Here's where I stand tonight: 19,432/90,000

Novel Work

I resumed work on the novel today. Since I hadn't touched it in a while, the day was spent re-reading what I already had, changing a few things and adding new sections. There's more of that to do tomorrow.

Here's the current word count: 17,336, with a goal of 90,000.

Baby, What A Big Dead Surprise

I finished the final proof of The Dead Sheriff: Zombie Damnation yesterday. It took a little longer than I expected but I want this book to be right, you know?

Along the way, I surprised myself. It had been a while since I had read the book. I turned it in a long time ago and moved on to other projects, so when I read it again, it was definitely with fresh eyes. And the story works. It’s a big, grand pulp adventure, full of magic and gunfights and some pretty despicable villains and at least two people searching for some nobility (even if one of them doesn’t know it yet). There’s cussin’ and fightin’ and more than a little humor. Most importantly (to me, anyway) it’s a hell of a lot of fun.

I’m pretty happy with it.

During the course of reacquainting myself with the story my passion for the characters was reignited. Even while I was making corrections, I was rapidly jotting down notes about The Dead Sheriff 2, 3 and beyond.

It will be here soon. I hope you’ll try it.

Now it’s back to work on the next novel. I’ll try to post a steady word count here, beginning later today. I know some folks find that interesting and I hope it will serve as a motivational tool for me.

It’s not good to disappoint the blog readers. That’s my motto. Well, my new motto. It replaces my old motto “Damn, I looks good in this g-string, yo!”

This Week's Column: The Bureau of Made-Up Names

You know what that attractive badge means: my new column is available on page 2 of this week's Ashland Beacon.

We just lived through a "derecho" and Arizona recently had another "haboob". Where do these names come from? Now it can be revealed right here.

50 Shades of Gravy

For some reason, I now have a page on Tumblr. You can drop in on me here. Or in the links at the left of this page.

Stewie Griffin on Mars

Seth MacFarlane, the creator of Family Guy, is overseeing a reboot of Carl Sagan’s classic PBS series Cosmos.

I’ll give you a minute to let that soak in.

Now, I want to direct you to the following video interview with MacFarlane. I agree with everything he says regarding our space program and how we’ve let it all unravel. I particularly like his comment about watching the history of the space program backwards. Sad but true.

Creature Feature

Where’s the love for The Creature from the Black Lagoon?

This classic Universal monster doesn’t seem to get the respect that his better known counterparts—Frankenstein, Dracula, Wolfman—do. Maybe it’s because he debuted years after the era of Big Frank and the rest. Or maybe (and this is my theory) Gill-Man is just too damned creepy. I mean, have you seen that face? And he’s mostly an underwater guy, so when he’s attacking the nosy scientists on dry land, dude is dripping everywhere. But dig the tragedy: He's mostly fish, but all he wants is some human-style lovin'

He’s one of my favorites and after perusing this behind-the-scenes look at Gilly, I may have to watch the original flick tonight.

Where’s the love for The Creature from the Black Lagoon? Right here, my little mermaid.

The Every-Now-And-Then Vacation Writing Update

I have a plan. I really do. It’s just that it’s frequently derailed. I’d hoped to have two short stories completed and submitted by Sunday. As it turned out, the second story wasn’t finished until yesterday afternoon. After it was done, I read it aloud to Norma. She’s an honest critic (which means she won’t hesitate to tell me it sucks). She loved it. After a few corrections and a final polish, I sent it off to the editor. I have no idea if the piece will sell. I certainly hope it will, but as I’ve found out over the years, the joy of writing it and having it turn out better than you’d hoped is a very satisfying reward.

And, yeah, it would be way cool to see this end up in the book. So there.

Meanwhile, the first story I finished last week is still waiting to be revised. I want a little more distance from it before I start the edits. There’s no pressing deadline and I want it to be just right.

Now I need to get back to the current novel, but...

I have to write a newspaper column later this morning. And Evileye Books has sent me the e-galley of The Dead Sheriff: Zombie Damnation for a final read-through before it debuts. I’ll be giving it a very careful exam, like a gynecologist with OCD. Whatever time is left will be spent on the novel, which, by the way, I hope to finish by my birthday, September 23rd.

And just to prove I love you, here’s a baby monkey riding backwards on a pig:

The Long Rotting Arm of the Law

I write a column every quarter for Horror World, and the new one just went up. It's all about the writing of The Dead Sheriff. Check it out here.

Whisk Master

It’s a banner day. Norma taught me to make her excellent lo-cal breakfast sandwiches. The secret is her perfectly seasoned softly scrambled eggs. I’ve never had anything like them, and they’ve ruined me for all restaurant eggs. Now I can make these delectable treats whenever I get the craving.

It’s like the old saying “Give a man an egg and he’ll eat for a day. Give a man careful instructions along with a couple of eggs, chives, parsley, shredded cheddar cheese, milk, pepper, salt, low-fat low-carb English muffins, a pan, a whisk, a spatula and a toaster and he’ll be one happy boy!”

Or something like that.

A Web Enema For Spidey

A new tie-in toy for The Amazing Spider Man in the Philippines offers kids a chance to toss rings over Spidey as he seems to be impaled on a tower of webbing.

Read more here.